VALUE OF MEN: I recently joined a new club called “Men Are Confused About Their Value in the Market”.
If you want to get to know the above group, I have prepared some introduction and this song: “Hello, hello! You’re so pretty, you’re too sexy, go out with me… Sorry man, sorry, I have a lover.”
Just last week, when the distance between Saigon was over, I performed comedy and danced and sang that song on stage. When doing comedy I try quite a lot of jokes, just try it, if it’s not funny, don’t use it a second time. People look at me like I’m crazy.
Indeed, many times I am very confused about the value of men.
Most Vietnamese men when they meet me for the first time ask: “Are you a teacher?”. “No, I work as a Vinhome central park for rent“. “…Is that so? Do you know Vietnamese?”. “There you are” (sometimes I’m speaking Vietnamese to them). “Is that so, but you probably don’t know the word gossip?”. “I know that word”. “So you probably don’t know the word drinking, right?”. “That’s right… I don’t know that word”.
Actually, I’m unfamiliar with that word, but I purposely fail to keep them from trying to find out what I don’t know. Like that, a lot of times, they just seem to enjoy competing, even fighting.
Fighting, today we men don’t use fists and feet anymore, no more bows, swords, guns and grenades, but we still fight all the time.
On my way to the tennis court last week, I came across a red truck that was extremely large for the small man inside. And the man driving the car is occupying a space on the road that is also extremely large, many times larger than his body. He used his horn to force my bike to stop for his truck to pass.
Not only in Vietnam, anywhere and my hometown Canada, men also often compete. We were forced to learn French at school, but most of us resented having to learn it, because it was hard to start with. We friends often compete “I know more French than you” when they know 10 words and the other knows 5 words.
Women always have a much smarter solution.
The group “Men Too Confused About Their Value in the Market” reminded me of serving in the army in Afghanistan. I heard about Ms. Sakena Yacoobi, a developmental educator. Once, when she was driving in the desert, a group of men with AK47 guns stopped her and said, “Give me the money!”.
Sakena said: “This work is not sustainable. Young buffaloes, come to me, I will give you a better job.” Many men became her staff, teachers, and very loyal.
Sakena said: “Men are not stupid, they are just aggressive, we have to teach them.”
It seems to me that she is right. Who made the AK47 gun? Man. Who created the races, the wars? Man. I’m tired of them.
Social distancing slowly ended as I got my second dose of the vaccine and felt more free. But I don’t want to go back to the world we left two years ago because of traffic jams, competition and pollution. I also hope the tide will spare my house, so that I don’t have to clean up due to the water entering the house every week.
When the editor asked me if I wanted to write an article about the changing relationship between women and men today, I thought about a new normal interaction.
Men – warriors and hunters for thousands of years have been considered masters of many things, including women. But today, many women are starting to see the value of expensive diamond rings decrease, the value of the ability to have a pleasant conversation and yoga increase. Starting to change the balance of power between the sexes as more and more women favor independence. They make good money, it’s easier to leave, and it’s harder for men to attract women, find ways to convince women to stay with them. When I returned to the West, many young people in the village had a hard time finding a wife.
Women have a higher sense of status and what they can do, can buy whatever they want, go anywhere instead of relying on men’s money to raise children. They can sometimes make men appear fuzzy, dragging men into a less certain future where football and beer and action movies are less exciting.
During the time at home because of Covid, many men told me that they feel it is extremely important to get married and have a family, and single people feel that they need women to end their uncertain days. Especially the arrangement of women in a family all studying, working, and eating at home. But because more and more women love independence, more freedom, less dependence on men. Men who want to attract women have to work harder than before.
Covid has shown us many important things, not money but a community, a good partner to build a happy future. In order to increase the market value to society, to re-attract women, men need to be more “manly”. That doesn’t mean always having to brace yourself like fighting a bear in the woods, but accepting things that change with changing gender roles.
Higher values also mean being thoughtful and honest with people, not honking on the road with cyclists like me. People cannot develop their society, promote the economy, improve the quality of life if they are too busy with conflict. And women, no matter how independent, need a suitable man.
Civilization is when all genders in society respect and get along with each other and bring about a slow, steady and steady future for everyone.